The 12 Types of Parents You See At School Drop Off

School drop off is where all parents can be judged solely based on their outside appearance. I have no idea who some of these parents are, never spoke a word more than "Hi" to them. But I DO see them Monday-Friday, and from that I have grouped them into 12 different types. 

I have been most of these at one point, some days looking put together and other days looking just as stressed and frazzled as I feel. 

The 12 Types of Parents You See At School Drop Off

1. The mom in full workout gear - She's really great shape and you may give her the stank face (behind her back). But she should be, seeing that she goes to the gym every day after dropping the kid's off at school. OR maybe she just likes wearing workout gear and has really good genes. (double stank face)

2. The mom in pajamas - She may or may not have had a rough morning. Susy spilled her breakfast on her new dress while junior refuses to wear pants. Either that, or she just doesn't give a damn and is going for 100% comfort. Maybe she works the night shift and will go right back to sleep after the kid's are in school. We don't judge. 

3. The mom in yoga pants - This is one step up from pajamas. She has an entire drawer of black yoga pants that have never stepped foot in a yoga class. Her yoga pants aren't for yoga, they are for school mornings. This is me 75% of the time.

4. The mom in full business attire - She looks completely put together like she's about to walk into a court room. She could be an extra on Scandal. You go back and forth in your mind about if having to dress up everyday would be a good or bad thing. 

5. The Stay-at-home-mom who looks perfect- Hair done, outfit ironed and matching. Kid's clothes are the absolute cutest and her daughter always has a big matching bow. Your "at-awe" meter explodes when her other four kids jump out of her car looking like they jumped out of a J.Crew catalog. 

6. The dad in business attire and Bluetooth headset - His kids are running into school ahead of him while he finishes up a phone call. He stops for a second and yells, "Michael be careful!" then puts a finger to his ear and says "I'll call you back in a few minutes..."

7. The dad in workout gear - This dad is in great shape, what some would call a DILF. He's the dad all the moms secretly swoon over and might be the only reason some put on lipstick before exiting the car.

8. The mom in workout clothes and flip flops - Her top half says she's going to workout, but you can tell by her bottom half that she's just trying to fool you. 

9. The Friends group - These are the parents who have friends who also drop their kids off at school. They usually wait for each other in the parking lot, walk into school together, and stop and chat for 10-15 minutes in the parking lot while giving all the other parents a quick smile in between gossip. 

10. The mom with 5 hands - Her kid's are on the morning energy high as they race into school. She's trying to keep up behind them with all their backpacks and book report posters. It's kind of like watching a juggling act at the circus. 

11.The dynamic duo - This set of parents raise many questions. How do they both have time in the morning to not only bring their kids to school, but walk them in. Are they millionaires who don't work? What do they do for a living? Is their workplace hiring?

12. The grandparent - You see this grandparent so often you may  wonder if they're actually the parent. No, can't be...they're just a really involved grandparent. Cudos to them and their patience levels. 

All these "types" of parents are completely awesome in their own way. Whether you're the mom/dad in pajamas or business attire, you are all dropping your little loves off at school and kissing their tiny faces with the same love as the other. 

XOXO

Parent University

We all know there are no classes,books, or pod-casts that can get you ready for parenthood. You may know at what age babies should start eating solids, or what to do when they have a diaper rash, but NOTHING prepares you for life with kids (except experience, and even that fails us sometimes). What works for one, may not work for the other. What your first child likes might make your second scream uncontrollably. I mean, we make these humans out of our own cells and blood, why would it be so hard to raise them? Shouldn't we be able to control them with our minds?! That'd make everything so simple, but sorry, aint happenin', unless you somehow hypnotize them into listening to every word you speak (that may not be good either). Since our kids aren't singing "Momma Dadda Momma, can't you see, sometimes your words just hypontize me", we need to go about it in more creative ways. There's one thing we can all agree on; parenting is truly the hardest job in the world. 

Insert "Parent University", where classes offered are actually useful in the real world of parenting. 

Classes Offered at Parent University 

Cooking - How to cook breakfast, lunch, and/or dinner while holding a baby. First lesson: how to crack on egg in a pan (without any shells falling in) while holding your baby. Second lesson: How to get an entire meal cooked with two kids running around and playing at your feet.  

Ninja moves - How to get out of a bed with a sleeping child without waking them up. First lesson: shifting your body weight without making one side of the bed dip too far down, thus waking up baby.  

Magic tricks-  How to open anything without making noises. First lesson: Silently opening a bag of chips. Second lesson: How do silently EAT the chips. Third lesson: Making no movements while punching a straw through a juice box for another child. 

Driver's Ed - How to drive a car, pick up dropped sippy cups, hand food to the back seat, and listen to the same song 1500 times without "turning this car around and going home!!!" 

Cleaning - How to clean a house that will then be destroyed exactly 9 seconds later without having a nervous breakdown. This takes practice but before you know it, these messes will no longer bother you (unless you get a call that a friend is stopping by...then you become the Cat In The Hat and clean the house spotless in record time) 

Human Anatomy - Never knew you had eyes in the back of your head did you? Your body goes through miraculous changes when becoming a parent. First lesson: How to use the eyes in the back of your head. 

Physical Education for the Brain - How to expand your brain and store information on where all toys, stuffed animals, and sippy cups are at all times. First Lesson: Memory Expansion to ensure you don't forget any birthday, any school event, and any extra curricular activity on the calendar.  

Physical Education - How to hold two babies in your arms AND hold the hand of your oldest child while walking through a parking lot. First lesson: How to hold 50 lbs worth of little humans but not be able to do push-ups. 

If you are interested in enrolling in any of the above courses, please feel free to make babies.

XOXO