Wednesday, January 21, 2015

10 Reasons why Children are Strange

10 Reasons why Children are Strange Creatures

Sometimes kids do strange things, and by strange I mean things that absolutely make no sense in any subject matter, except the subject of children. This subject has many manuals and “what to expect” books, support groups, and community forums, all which moms from all corners of earth frequent to make sense of their child’s behavior. I’m here to tell you that no book or chat room will explain some things that you experience when you have kids running around. Sometimes, kids just don’t make any sense.

1. They won't eat a home cooked meal you just busted your ass cooking for the past 2 hours trying to hide as many veggies as possible into, but they'll eat you clear out of chalk and glue. 

2. To them, there is such a thing as the wrong kind of sippy cup; and it all depends on the hour of the day, the day of the week, and what their sibling is momentarily sipping out of. Oh you want the red sippy cup with the orange lid? Oh you mean the only single sippy cup, out of an entire cabinet, that happens to be your dad’s truck on the other side of town right now? Sorry, here's the one you wanted an hour ago. 

3. They will feel freezing cold but want nothing to do with a blanket. I'm talking goosebumps on legs and shivering cold. You gently try to cover them with a blanket, and based on the reaction you get, you'd think the blanket was actually hot lava.

4. They will scream and cry about being cold but karate kick your fingers when trying to put pants or jackets on. "Well I WAS going to help you..."

5. They remember the tiniest of details, but can't tell you what they did with your keys they were just playing with.

6. They cry because they're tired and get mad when you tell them to go take a nap. 

7. When were out of the house they want nothing to do with you, kicking and screaming to let them run around. When you get home and they have free range of the entire house and yard, they want you to hold them.

8. Sleep. They fall asleep sitting in a highchair with spaghetti all over their face, or in the umbrella stroller you paid five bucks for. Sometimes it seems like they'll sleep absolutely anywhere on absolutely anything. Until you put them in their own comfortable bed equipped with an organic mattress and $200 cotton sheets from Pottery Barn kids. 

9. They have a bazillion toys at their feet but want to play with your phone, remote, or a pack of markers. It's the same thing with the whole liking the box that the toy came in better than the toy. Wtf?

10. You cut their food into small pieces for their own safety and they act like you just soaked it in the spiciest habanero sauce you could find. They claim the food totally inedible at that point, all because you're trying to prevent them from choking. 

Sometimes you just have to sit back and laugh. Kids are literally nuts, but we love them and all their nutty ways. Life would actually be a little dull without the craziness that is our kids. 


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