Friday, September 26, 2014

Spider Hostage Situation

I would do a Friday Finds post but I would just be taking pictures of everything in my cart at Target. Seriously everything at Target is amazing…why?! Fall is everywhere and I’m obsessed!

Instead, I’m going to tell you about the hostage situation I had this morning. I was held hostage in my car…by a humongous spider! {Shiver}

Last night when we got home from dinner, I screamed when I saw a large spider on the ceiling of the garage, right by the attic door. The hubs took the mop and did absolutely nothing scared it away. He came back in the house and said it ran out of the garage. {Lies}

This morning we’re doing the normal weekday routine of loading the kids in the car to go to school. I’m about 5 minutes away from my house and the spider appears on my windshield!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (Outside of the car THANK GOODNESS or I wouldn’t be living to type this right now.) I, stupidly, am texting the hubs and trying to take a picture of it but it runs up my windshield onto the roof. Great….I had the chance to kill it with my wipers and I didn’t!

We pull into school and I’m absolutely terrified to open my car door. I use the car cameras and mirrors to try and search for it.  Nothing. I look at the clock and we have about 3 minutes to get into school before we’re tardy. I turn off the car, take off my seatbelt and sit on the center console. Opening the door with a stretched out arm, I karate kick the door open and have a binder in my other hand ready to attack. (I don’t even care if people are staring at me) Door open…nothing. I jump out of the car and do a quick search around the car. Nothing. I hurriedly get both kids out of the car and make it into school.

I get back to the car and do another search around. Roof, doors, bumper, etc. Nothing. Spider must be gone.

I make it to my first stop, the bank. Oh great…I have to roll down my window. Anxiety attack. I open it half way and quickly tell the lady I need a deposit slip, then roll it back up. I get my things back to the bank teller and start rolling up my window. It’s almost up and THE DAMN SPIDER SCURRIES ACROSS THE HOOD OF MY CAR!!!!!!!!!  There is no way in hell I’m rolling down my window again. I see that the bank teller is done and sending my stuff back. I give her a polite wave through the window and drive away. She could have been telling me someone cleared out my bank account and I still wouldn’t have rolled down that window.

I drive to the nearest car wash to get this spider blasted away. How is it still holding on somewhere?! I roll up…oh look I have to roll down my window to pay the guy… {panic} the guy comes to my window, obviously not seeing a spider anywhere, so I roll it down a tad.

 “There’s a spider somewhere on my car!”
“No! On the outside! Do you see it?!”

With a huge smile, the guy takes a walk around my car and gives me the clear. I roll down my window and pay the guy for the carwash with the highest pressure available. He takes a pressure washer and blasts my whole car with it. I then go through the car wash.

The spider is probably gone at this point but I’m not taking any chances. I karate kicked my door open and jumped out like mad women at the UPS store and Target after the car wash, and I probably will do the same all day.

That’s how my morning has gone. Fun Stuff. I hope your Friday morning is going awesome... with no spiders.

Spidey Humor


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